Let's Get Intimate

{I must start with a disclaimer: I am not an expert when it comes to LGBTQ topics...no where close. I try to learn as much as I can about different sexual orientations and genders while being considerate of the people within this community. If I get something wrong, please teach me so I can correct my mistake.}

I have never been one to shy away from controversial and personal topics on this blog. I tend to share my most intimate details here. From my struggles with depression to my guilty pleasures, I've never had trouble writing them here for all to see. For some reason, it's where I feel safe.

I am a strong believer that sexuality is fluid. Our emotional, romantic, and sexual relationships can differ and change when it comes to the sex or gender we are attracted to. I also subscribe to the idea of the Kinsey scale. (For those of you unfamiliar, this is the notion that instead of fitting into the two categories of "straight" and "gay," everyone places on a continuum in between the two, allowing varying amounts of hetero and homosexuality.) And although it's not perfect, for it does not take certain sexualities into consideration, it's the best way for me to describe my own, personal relationship with sexuality. 

All of my life I have identified as heterosexual. It's never been a question in my head. I'm attracted to men sexually, therefore I am straight. It's almost a societal default. How I felt about women was irrelevant, because I liked men. Even when I was talking to girls on dating sights, it didn't matter, because I liked men. The fact that I was attracted to both men and women was inconsequential, because I liked men. And because I liked men, I was heterosexual. 

How convoluted is that? 

I've always known that I didn't lay at one specific end of the Kinsey scale, but it never truly occurred to me that I might not be straight. Not until fairly recently. 

This is not a post about me "coming out." (Or maybe, in a way, it is...) I don't identify as gay, but I also no longer identify as straight. Perhaps I'm on the road to identifying as bi...but I don't feel like I'm quite there yet. I guess I'm embracing the Q in LGBTQ, and I am 100% okay with that.

My name is Cami. I'm 25. And I'm questioning my sexuality every chance I get.